You promised yourself you wouldn’t act that way again, say those things that later you’ll regret, or go into crazy-making, thinking no one likes you, no one cares, it is all hopeless. But…time and again, like the devil made you do it, you slip into old patterns and same old, same old happens. Then, time to pay the piper; in the aftermath of acting out, the adult you has to, once again, pick up the pieces, do the repairs, make the amends, and/or carry prolonged embarrassment and shame.
What is root source when your behavior regresses? Let me introduce you to your inner child. “What?” you might ask? This deserves an explanation. Let’s start with your subconscious mind - did you know that it carries a picture of every second you have lived? Sadly, some of these pictures show a child in crisis, over its head, with an immature brain unable to cope with whatever happened in that moment that traumatized the child.
During such traumatic experiences, the emotions are extremely heightened. And from this powerful place, the child’s brain begins to create a narrative. This narrative doesn’t hold options. The child’s brain is a polarized one…it can only think in all or nothing, good or bad, right or wrong, and now or never. After enduring, painfully unbearable experiences with no way out, the child’s brain begins to lay down rules of safety in absolutes: “I’ll never trust again.” “I’m not likable.” “I’m a loser.”
These thoughts do linger on and on and on... They become unconscious but lie at the root of self-sabotaging behaviors and dysfunctional behaviors. These limiting beliefs get installed as a default setting that often we’re unaware of. And, in moments when certain triggers activate the old beliefs, the default setting dominates resulting in self-destruct, passive hostility, aggression, narcissistic tantrums, childish neediness, fear of abandonment, over-exaggerated dependency or codependency, and/or oppositional behavior that actually works against you.
If you think about who you might be opposing in the here and now by defaulting to this behavior, just realize that the perpetrator in your past probably is way over it, likely doesn’t even remember the incident, but you do and continue to play out your unresolved feelings with people in your present life who actually didn’t cause the behavior, can’t cure it, or control it.
In short, it isn’t the wisest decision to have your inner child drive the bus, so to speak. Would you want a 5 y.o. to sit at the wheel of a city bus? Could it even do it? Yet, more often than you might suspect, your inner child is activated, cuts your adult self off at the pass and runs the show, leaving the present-day adult you to pick up the consequences of any extreme behavior that actually results in negative outcomes.
How do you attend to your inner child? How to reparent it? How to bring the unresolved issues from childhood to closure? Zenzar Design in their latest Cure from the Heart Y'sY'a collection brings an option to the table with our inner child graphic that supports the belief that when your inner child heals, you the adult heal. There is a correlation that certain illnesses are the result of unhealed baggage from the past…PTSD, eating disorders, addictions of every type, OCD, anxiety, depression, unbearable shame, and more.
You are invited to check out: Inner Child Wounding: Heal the Past at Zenzar.co.
By healing the past, you can take your nervous system out of severe stress and symptoms that overwhelm the body, mind, emotions, and energy. Wear Inner Child Wounding: Heal the Past to support you becoming the present-day loving parent who will, through compassion, bring the child to maturity and counteract shaming negative self-beliefs through loving acceptance. Each time you wear this design you are creating a new relationship with self that connects you to the beauty that is you.